But every once in a while someone will ask me where I stand. Really, wouldn't you rather hear about the time I met Rick Springfield?
But because today is Election Day, I'll play along. Here's my take on politics:
- My first election was 1988. I voted for George Bush (the older one) because I liked his wife.
- Bill Clinton is my favorite (living) president although, in general, I am hugely judgmental about men cheating on their wives.
- I have memorized the names of the first 16 presidents and those after 1988, in order. Impressive, I know. That will be my winning ticket on Jeopardy.
- I like that Mary Matlin and Donna Brazil are friends. How cool is that?
- My office hosted the 2004 democratic debate in Des Moines before the Iowa caucus. I met John Edwards (not forgiving of his moral lapses), John Kerry, Howard Dean, Richard Gephardt, and a few others. If you ask me privately, I'll tell you which one(s) was the biggest jerk.
- In said primary, Charlie Gibson from ABC News was in town, and I spent lots of time celebrity stalking. I love Charlie Gibson! Charlie Gibson for President!
- I voted at a new precinct today, a church. They had homemade cookies. My old precinct, at a mobile home park, never had cookies. I think I am now judgmental about that. The cookies were awesome! I was voter #649.
- I'll give bonus points to any candidate that invites Bon Jovi or Rick Springfield and me to their campaign event.
- Robo-call me too many times and I won't vote for you.
- The key to my heart: Convince me you are the best candidate for women and children. That is what matters to me.