Red, White and Blue Hoop-lah

Here at The Daily Hoop-lah, I rarely talk about issues of importance such as the economy, immigration, proposed casinos, Kim Kardashian and Big Bird. Mostly because I think opinions are highly over-rated unless, of course, they're mine. I don't have time to come up with actual facts to convince you that I'm right.

But every once in a while someone will ask me where I stand. Really, wouldn't you rather hear about the time I met Rick Springfield?

But because today is Election Day, I'll play along. Here's my take on politics:

• My first election was 1988. I voted for George Bush (the older one) because I liked his wife.
• Bill Clinton is my favorite (living) president although, in general, I am hugely judgmental about men cheating on their wives. 
• I have memorized the names of the first 16 presidents and those after 1988, in order. Impressive, I know. That will be my winning ticket on Jeopardy.
• I like that Mary Matlin and Donna Brazil are friends. How cool is that?
• My office hosted the 2004 democratic debate in Des Moines before the Iowa caucus. I met John Edwards (not forgiving of his moral lapses), John Kerry, Howard Dean, Richard Gephardt, and a few others. If you ask me privately, I'll tell you which one(s) was the biggest jerk.
• In said primary, Charlie Gibson from ABC News was in town, and I spent lots of time celebrity stalking. I love Charlie Gibson! Charlie Gibson for President! 
• I voted at a new precinct today, a church. They had homemade cookies. My old precinct, at a mobile home park, never had cookies. I think I am now judgmental about that. The cookies were awesome! I was voter #649.
• I'll give bonus points to any candidate that invites Bon Jovi or Rick Springfield and me to their campaign event.
• Robo-call me too many times and I won't vote for you.
• The key to my heart: Convince me you are the best candidate for women and children. That is what matters to me.