Nothing but trouble

No worries, everyone at the Hoop-lah house is still on the right side of the law. Should the need for bail money become pressing, we'll give you a call. It's always a possibility with Big Dog out driving and breaking most of the traffic laws.

But this has nothing to do with that. Trouble is a-brewing in a whole other way.

It started two years ago when C.C. broke one of the living room lamps. She was small and could scamper behind the end table and couch - her getaway when stealing socks. One day she got tangled in the cord and down went the lamp. I've been searching for new ones ever since.

There's a lot of lamps out there. Trust me, I know first-hand. I've checked out every possible online retailer and store in the area. Multiple times. Lots of great lamps, but none that matched our furniture. Except for THE ONE. It was beautiful, a piece of art really. It would have been perfect. But Big Dog said no. Something about the $1,200 price tag.

Other than that, there are no lamps in existence that match our 17-year-old house and furniture. Everything is dark these days, but our house is still medium oak. I finally bit the bullet and bought something new. I'm tired of not being able to see after 5 p.m. I like the style, but these new lamps are dark and look weird on our end tables.

You know where this is going, don't you? We'll eventually have to buy new end tables to match the lamps, then a new couch and love seat to match the tables, then a new TV stand and a chair to match the rest. And the new TV stand will need a new TV, of course. Because our living room opens to the kitchen, a new table and refacing the kitchen cabinets won't be far behind. It will never end.

I have seen the face of evil and its name is redecorating.

Not a fan of losing

Being knocked out of a tournament today in the third round left us with a free Sunday afternoon. Most people would love free time, but hello, we have no idea what to do with that. So we did what we always do in a pinch. We drove across town to Red Lobster for lunch, and then spent the rest of the day looking at each other, waiting for something better to happen.

I did sweet talk Riley into watching HGTV with me. Someday, when he is able to color coordinate a room, his wife is going to thank me. The kids and I are hooked on House Hunters. LOVE that show. But it blows my mind that people have so much money to spend. Makes me jealous. I want to be rich, too.

Rocking the resolution

Remember my New Year's resolution to buy a new pair of shoes every month in 2011? Behold January's pair, in just under the wire. This might be the first resolution I'll ever keep.

I never thought I'd buy this style, but the aches and pains of advancing age have moved comfort to the top of the list. Along with heating pads, ibuprofen, and bifocals.

I'm planning to break them out during my Grand Canyon trip and then wear them all summer long. With luck, the nerve between the toes on my right foot will recognize I'm wearing quality and cut me some slack. I'll let you know how it goes.

Bad mom alert

Do you suppose the pediatrician's office would give us a frequent user discount? The co-pays and prescriptions this week are killing the budget and I need to get my hair colored. Hmmm . . sick kids or gray hair? Talk about tough choices.

Thanks a lot CBS

What are we supposed to do on Friday nights now that you've cancelled our favorite show? Carly and I looked forward to Medium every week. You may not have had a lot of viewers, but you had us. Didn't anyone ever teach you it's not nice to make little girls cry?

Priceless works of art

I have the most talented kids EVER. Except for yours. Way more talented than mine.

Aren't these pictures great? I love it when they bring home artwork. And I so admire their skill. They must have gotten it from Big Dog, because even my stick people look bad.

Riley's Masterpiece

Carly's Masterpiece

The School of Hard Knocks

I made it to Riley's practice last night in time to see him get a verbal smackdown. It's an interesting part of parenting - standing by and watching something happen. And wondering what you do - if anything.

I chose to do nothing, even though the mama bear in me wanted to rumble. He is my baby after all. But I know this kid really well. And one of the things he has to learn (hopefully someday, please God) is to talk less and listen more. I saw enough to know he wasn't listening, he was too busy arguing.

That kid came out of the womb arguing. It's obviously part of his genetic makeup. He has always believed he knows more than me and you and everyone else. It's an attitude that can send teachers and coaches and sisters and occasionally (!) parents over the edge.

I just wish he could figure that out.

Is it just me or was he slightly overdressed?

Saw an older man at lunch today decked out in a full-length woman's fur coat. I wonder what he wears to dinner.

Neither my ovary or I can find our way home

It turns out a camera shy ovary isn't a big deal. If your ovary looks like an inflamed ball of lava, then you have a problem. Mine is apparently in there somewhere hanging out, breaking curfew. When it shows up, it is totally grounded for not calling. In the meantime, I have to have another blood test. I'd like to complain, but I'm trying to be more positive in the New Year. So yeah for doctors and their pokey needles! And yeah for this blog, which is both educational and entertaining!

I had a good laugh today reading Riley's semester report card online. One of the comments was, "Is a pleasure to have in class." From a teacher who called me a while back to tell me specifically he was not a pleasure to have in class. I'm guessing she selected the same comment for everyone. Of course, he could be shaping up. Or wearing a fake mustache and glasses to class. I'll have to ask him which one he thinks it is.

I spent the afternoon trying to go around the block with the new Garmin GPS we received for Christmas. I'm still lost. One of the kids is going to have to show us how it works. And what is the deal with having to print your own user's manual? 32 sheets of 8.5" x 11" paper won't store in the glove box as nicely as a booklet. Hello manufacturers? Isn't that sort of obvious? And how about an ovary finder ap for those of us who need it? That's me, always the idea person.

Talented and stylish

Today these boys won their division in the 2011 Cyclone Showdown. Some of the best basketball I have ever seen them play. Don't you like their hats? A gift from one of the Grandmas.

I'm lucky to have gotten a picture. A stray basketball from a team warming up knocked the camera out of my hand. That's twice in recent weeks it has landed on the floor. My lens is a little slow, but it still works. (That sounds a lot like me in general!)

Go ahead and congratulate me

You might remember I resolved a few posts ago to get my act together in 2011. Well, it is only January 9 and I have the Christmas decorations put away. A miracle, considering one of them has been up since November 2009. And I cleaned up the main room in the basement. So I think I'm done. Surely that's enough productivity for a year?

I need to put that where?

Today I'm venturing away from my usual family friendly babble. Read no further if the subject of ovaries makes you cringe. But you might want to read anyway. Believe me, I can't make this stuff up.

I went for a pelvic ultrasound this morning. And yes, it was as much fun as it sounds. But I digress. Turns out I'm missing an ovary. It used to be there. But today it didn't show up for our appointment. No cancellation notice. No vacation request. No Dear John letter. Just AWOL.

Hello? National Hotline for Missing Ovaries? I need to report an ovary-knapping.

Where does an ovary go when it gets tired of hanging out with its friends uterus and fallopian tube? Does it hook up with the bladder hoping to score a trip to the outside? Frankly, it's like being blindsided by a high school breakup. I would have changed if only I'd known it was unhappy.

I have no idea what the implications of being down an ovary are. I hope the treatment regime includes Klondike bars and a margarita or two. Stay tuned.

Happy New Year

I always admire holiday photos with the whole family lined up and smiling at the camera. You won't be seeing one of those from the Hoop-lah house. We're lucky to have gotten this far. Wishing you all the best in the New Year.